The Bastards are looking for fresh QUORN

With most people being away for holidays, it has been dull and slow paced around. A while ago I was licensed by our “corporations” CEO and Directors to get myself involved with finding new people. Looks like those High-sec ads just weren’t cutting it. We were yet to have been approached by new people who we haven’t made angry by blowing their ships up. I took it to myself to create an advertisement that will be played over at some major places. We do need more QUORN to take the bullets for us. Hell, my ships that haven’t been destroyed have so many dents in them that you can’t count ’em! Well… that’s not a lot of ships anyway, to be honest. Heh. Well, this is the best I got:

Tired of farming endless missions? Got too much ISK on you that you can’t seem to lose? Do you crave that adrenaline rush you felt when you entered a girl for the first time? Then we are what you need! No, we’re not girls. We’re manly Bastards who concentrate on Low-sec piracy and we want YOU to fly with us.

We are NOT looking for elite PvPers who get mad when they travel their way back in a pod. We ARE looking for people who’ve lost their home, or are trying to find one. We offer you a family of friends. We do not care if you lost your last 10 ships to them nasty gate guns, we will show you how to avoid them; we do not care if you won your last ten solo fights without being put into hull, we will teach you something new. Contact us via top-secret in game communications channel ‘DBastards’ or just connect your pod to our super-mega-secret communications service @ via Team Speak 3. No password required. Concord has no law here. Finally, our IntraGalWeb adress is here.

What we can offer you – a place to call your home, new people to live with, fight, perhaps die if someone with nickname “Known Associate” is commanding your fleet at the time. We will train you. We will show you the ways of the force (pun not intended). We cannot offer you free ships, ISK, implants or ways to hack your ship to make it fly at a thousand percent velocity. We are poor and proud of it (well, some of us are). If you’re lucky, you’ll be making people sing for shits and giggles. If you’re not, well, pod express.

For more information, contact Known Associate or Derothar via personal uplink.

The ad looked solid when I released it. We’ll see how many people bite into it.

Two for the show!

I realize I haven’t written anything here in quite some time. The Bastards have had me run a lot of business while they were taking holidays in remote constellations. Some of them, namely Tibbs, even went as far to spent their time watching the Galactic football championship. Waste of time if you ask me.

Anyway, I have been flying alone while others were absent. You see, I had no time to take a break. My ambition was, and always will be, to become of one the most notorious pirates out there, and I fully intend to reach the goal.

A few ideas came across my mind recently, and I started working with Mary and Laura on some ship fitting modifications. Some stuff clicked and were right, and I had a few fits that needed testing. That’s when I undocked Laura X from the station and set my path towards a make-shift battleground for Minmattar – Amarr conflict. The journey was long and boring, with little ships around to heat my railguns up. However, I did stumble across something very, very interesting. Namely, two Condor type ships were attracted to me, while I was baiting other T1 frigates inside a war PLEX designed for novice ships.

Laura was very kind to inform me of D-Scan results as soon as they were changed – there were two ships on the outside, probably activating the acceleration gate. “Laura, align the ship towards the sun” was ordered to Laura while I was activating the extra-propulsion in the form of an afterburner. Also, I took D-Scanning to myself. I just had to know if they will follow through or not. Before they came, I was 80 km away from the warp in beacon.

Once they landed I switched my drone-camera from my ship, to theirs, and deducted that they were both indeed using light missile weapon systems, and the read out on their speed, namely over 3 km/s was telling me that they plan to “kite” me all day long. The fight wasn’t favorable, so I had Laura warp the ship to the sun at 100 km. I fled, yes, my diary, I fled, but I didn’t give up the fight.

Having them jump in on me while I am away from the warp in beacon meant that I would have to do some fancy maneuvering twice, and that would probably not be enough for me to destroy their ships in time. “Align back towards the Novice outpost, be ready to warp to it at 10 km upon order” I relayed to Laura while formulating a battle plan. Supposed to be easy, I stay at the beacon and grab the first one as they warp in, shoot him up real fast and then try to get the other one with some fancy flying.

Not a lot of time to think left – they indeed followed me, probably by fleet warping themselves at the same time, since my grid computer showed them arrive at the same time. “Laura, now!” I ordered the computer and once it replied “In warp, Spaxi” I knew the fight was on. The ship landed on the outside of the Novice PLEX and we activated the gate, got inside, and orbited the beacon at distance of 500 m. Shit was about to hit the fan.

While Laura was busy orbiting the beacon and checking D-Scanner for me, which showed positive results by the way, both of the Condor type ships were indeed outside of the PLEX, I was manually re-routing more power to the Small ancillary armor repairer and to the web, scram, afterburner as well as railguns. You could say my modules were on fire how hot they got. “Spaxi, we got incoming”, and indeed, the two ships were coming out of warp, landing on grid. If I had any control of my body, I would’ve grinned, but that’s not how a capsule works.

Phil Cooper was the first unfortunate Condor to be instantly targeted by the ship’s computer. I preactivated the web, the scram, while afterburner was already running, and moved my ship towards it. He tried to get away, but the Atron is a fast bugger. Especially when you get instantly webbed and scrammed. He wasn’t going anywhere. It took quite a few volleys from my railguns, which I left to Laura’s pleasure, since computer has a lot more potential tracking and firing the weapons when necessary, not to mention having a lot better aim. Phil’s ship was in flames, while his friend was pounding on me. Both of them broke into my armor a long time ago, and the armor repair module was running at 115% efficiency, red-hot, repairing the armor when needed. Bad thing was – the nanite paste was running out of the module; the good thing – Condor #1 was down.

Laura, stop overheating the railguns, shoot him if you can; stop the armor repair, re-overheat it and hold, cycle one repair when armor drops below 55%; send D-Scan checks every 5 seconds, 360 degrees angle, 1 000 000 km range” – short orders to Laura, while I was about to do some fancy flying. My camera drone was far away from my ship, perhaps 50 km, and I had perfect view of the situation. Training with one of the meanest Bastards in a kiting ship, Tekei, had given me a lot of experience. “Let’s see how good of a pilot you are, Byleth Ch’ih Yu” I thought, and went with the execution. Railguns were grazing his shields, but it would seem he had a shield booster module which was shrugging the damage off. Didn’t matter, once I got him, he would go down for good.

I had to check the damage on the modules before I could do anything. “Damn it!” would have been a cry out of frustration, if I could cry out. The afterburner was 93% damaged. If I were to overheat it once again, it would melt. Only one attempt is all I had. Once I noticed his ship was about to pass mine in the 20 km orbit he established, I turned the engines on and started moving towards the sun. The Condor’s orbit distorted, was no longer circular and became somewhat elliptical. This confused his ship computer, and since he wasn’t flying manually, the computer started approaching me to re-establish the orbit. “Bingo”. I overheated my afterburner for one last try, coupled with my web and scram overheating as well, as I started moving my ship towards his trajectory, not directly at him, but in the direction he was moving.

Shortly after I was withing 13 km from him and my web landed on him. His engine entangled, he still carried some speed as he was trying to get away, but my Laura X was slightly modified – I did some engine tweaks and managed to get it to move at 2.1 km/s when giving additional power to the afterburner. It was enough to move in closer, and land a scram just as I hit 10 km mark. My nanite paste ran out a long time ago; my afterburner was melted; the Condor was moving at 200 m/s, while my Laura X was at solid 480 m/s. Armor was almost gone, structural integrity had been compromised, but I did it. Byleth’s Condor was on fire and gone very soon after and there was a strange smell in the air. It smelled like a good fight.

The ship was in terrible condition: all three railguns at 91% damage; web and scram at 50% damage; no more extra propulsion as afterburner was gone; armor repairer was cycling on without any paste, but it did the job. Laura was ordered to keep close attention to the D-Scanner, while I piloted the ship towards the remaining two wrecks, got the surviving modules and ammo, and disappeared before anyone could ruin my day.

The next day I was able to check out my accomplishment on the IntraGalWeb:

For a first win while outnumbered, not even remotely bad. I felt proud of myself for the first time in a couple of weeks. I still got it!

Motivation in Eve

Quite recently I took a short break from Eve, nothing too serious, had a real life friend over at my home and he was quite desperate on his exams, so I helped him out with studying. That meant that I literally had 5 minutes per day of Eve, and that came down to setting skills up for training.

During that time, I didn’t expect anyone to really notice I was gone, but one gal/lad (gender to be determined) did. I guess he/she felt like I lost my Eve mojo and wanted to spring me back into action. The reason I am posting this is to get back at you all who have lost your Eve spark. Hopefully, the eve-mail will work the same it did for me, got me back online the instant I read it. Without further ado, the mail:

From: Casper Gilamesh
To: Mr Spaxi
Subject: Motivational Letter (thought you would need it)

Hey Mr Spaxi,
Long time no see, just thought I would write this letter to you. 

 When I was a newer pilot to PvP I thought that the only idea of pvp was that killing was the only thought and that your kill board was reflective of the fact that you were a good pilot. Believe me the good pvp pilots have a 56%/70% isk efficincy. 

When I started there was two pilots that I would come across all the time; I will put to you who was the better pilot.

Missy Loreli, was a notorius gate camper being one of the top 100 for at least six months she would camp the Ofrold to Resbroko gate armed in a Insta Locking Oracle with Legion boosts. Pretty much a path of destruction lay at the gate, with nuetral eyes in each of the adjacent systems and with a intel channel of about a thousand pilots. If anything was deemed to be after her she would relocate to a safe spot or move to another system. 
Fr33moth Sprinkles, was a solo pilot that was always in the sytem that my corp lived in for awhile and the most remerable kill was when we pointed him on a novice gate in a thorax. The dude was always nice enough to say gf and keep trying to pvp even if the losses were always stacked the other way.
Unfortunatly as far as I know these two pilots have stopped playing eve. 

 “Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”

One of my favorite quotes should actually be in my bio (will do that later). Is a quote from Churchill, at the time Britian was not doing too well against the German forces, as they were far superior to anything that Britian could bring to the table. Churchill bluffed, giving intel to the enemy that then belived that Britian had the upper hand forcing the war to end much differently than how the predicted outcome.

“For myself, I am an optimist.
There does not seem to be much use in being anything else.”― Winston Churchill

If  you could predict the odds of winning in pvp 100% of the time, would you still pvp? Of course not, the whole idea of the “bittervet” disease is the whole “I don’t find pvp enjoyable anymore, cannot get good fights, everyone is smarter/dumber than me  and I win/lose everytime”. For those that will bring you down, tell you that your not strong/good enough that you should be doing this differently and that your such a noob. So fuck what? You’re not pvping for them and besides if they are telling you this stuff they had to learn it first right? Laugh at them, breeze on by and then kill them one by one… 🙂

Belief that you will become that pvp pilot that you see around you in others, takes time and study and quite alot of moronic behavior (i would not say any PvP pilot in EvE is alright in the head, just a heads up). The shakes will stop, the thrill of the kill goes too, the head desking as the rebalances take place once again for you to memorise over again, the overwelming sense of non purpose as you cruise around looking for kills to find that once again that there was nothing to kill this night or maybe the night after. 

But at the end of the day, what are you doing it for? Risk verses Reward, Live in the moment, Laugh when you get a kill that should of been a loss and most of all if your not having fun, Change It!


He/she hit it spot on. Whenever you’re feeling down and not wanting to play Eve, or you’re just wondering if it has a point, come back and read up. It will do you good.


Fly safe, Mr Spaxi.